2017 Embarrassing Memory

In our lifetimes, we each do an uncountable number of embarrassing things. That is one statement that is clear and true and today, I would like to tell one of my most embarrassing moments from 2017.

So, a little bit of a pre-story story, growing up, one of my favourite past times was going to Blockbuster with my mom and she, myself and my sister would all choose one movie, we would go home and watch them all in one night with popcorn and all. As I grew up, my love for movies never faded.

In the spring or early summer of 2017, I found myself looking for some VHS movies on Kijiji when I came across a seller who had four or five different bundles for sale. I looked through each and found a couple in two of the bundles that I had to get my hands on. So I made arrangements to take the drive right after work.

She lived about an hour and fifteen minutes away so I just left work, grabbed my son from the sitter and off we went to meet her. On the way there, I stopped to pick up my sister and niece and then, together we took the country adventure.

When I finally found the right address, I drove up the lot in my crappy, beat up Escape and the closer we got, the smaller we felt. This was a mansion. I was about to walk up to the door of a mansion.

Nervous, I begged my sister to talk me out of it. I didn’t want to go up there. The house alone was so beautiful it was intimidating. Of course, my sister was even curious so she sent me on my way.

As I was walking up the stairs, I felt myself shrinking more and more. The door was like twelve feet tall, but I rang the bell and someone answered.

He was a charming middle aged man, he welcomed me kindly into his home. His too beautiful for words, home. Everything was so perfect, the walls were the perfect shade of beige that just made the space feel expensive and the floors were so shiny, you would even think twice before eating off them.

I looked to my right and saw the kitchen, a huge crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling above the island. The counter tops were a dark ash grey. It all looked so shiny and new from where I was standing but the voices caught my attention. The room right in front of me was a living room, I imagine there would be half a dozen considering there was no television. The furniture was all placed in a perfect social circle around a pretty glass coffee table. There was a middle aged woman and two younger gentlemen. They weren’t younger like my age or under, but also not much older than me but one was beautiful. I’ve never known any men with money but I imagined that if I did, they would all look like this guy – if they didn’t, I’m sure they could afford to make it happen!

It threw me off that they were all standing there holding glasses of red wine. All I could thing was how impossible it would be to clean that out of their beautiful white carpet.

After talking to the man and woman of the house about some of the movies, the man wondered why I was interested in the one box in particular of old classics; he told me they were clearly released long before I was born and I told them that that is why they were special, some movies like Born Free helped shape my life and they were movies my mom had in her childhood that you can’t find anywhere else now a days.

As I was getting ready to leave with my newly purchased treasures, the boys got up, and headed my way. “You didn’t think we were going to let a little lady like you carry these heavy boxes to your car, did you?” The middle aged man said.

Woah. Now I knew I was in an alternate universe. So I thanked him and head back out the door, my sister had her window down and she was asking what was going on and what happened… all I could do was tell her to watch for the beautiful man child who would be coming down shortly because they OFFERED TO CARRY MY BOXES! She was even dumbfounded and then she was in awe as she watched the beautiful descend the staircase.

They packed the boxes into my car, and then mr. Pretty wanted to meet my son and so he comes around and starts talking babytalk to him. My heart melted right there, I thought I felt it running through my shirt and I looked down. OH NO!

There I was at the most wonderful dreamlike house, with a beautiful rich boy playing with my son and I am standing there IN MY WORK UNIFORM. I’m talking heavy, steel toed work boots, an ugly navy golf shirt, baggy blue work pants and SAFETY GLASSES AROUND MY NECK as if they were some fashion accessory. Who needs jewelry when you can have clear plastic hanging off your body. I caught my reflection in the window of my car, and I thought, “at least my hair looks decent… ”



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